DEAD ED (McMahon)
Posted on June 23, 2009
Filed Under Pop Culture, Television | 2 Comments
Ed McMahon is dead at 86. For realsies? I don’t really care. 86 is a long freaking time to be alive. Dude had the best job in the WORLD (Carson’s sidekick) AND he got to give poor people money. He had a great life. I mean, I guess. I didn’t know him personally or any shit. I mean, yeah, sure I heard rumors that his wife beat the hell out of him, but whatevs. He didn’t seem to complain (publicly). He was asking for it with that loud ass voice of his. I’m just saying… SHE HAD HER REASONS. Anyway, God speed Ed. I’m not going to lie. Your death is not nearly as devastating as when Dave Thomas (WENDY’S FOUNDER) died. That fucked my shit up. Ask Sister Husband. Our step Grammy died that same week and I was WAY more broken up about Dave. In fact, I went on vacation rather than attending her funeral. I guess that wasn’t cool. Oh well. What can I say?
In other news, I finally found the Rolling Stone Magazine with my future husband (Adam Lambert) on the cover. The interview was kind of awesome. He was way open about his drug use, his fondness for pee pees, Danny Gokey and his worry that folks would think he was a drag queen. If you’re an Adam fan, CHECK IT OUT.
Finally, I am sorry I was so mean yesterday on my blog. Really. I am. Sometimes, when I’m manic, and someone pisses me off, I, well, go, well, how do I say? BAT SHIT CRAZY. So yeah. That was yesterday. Mom, I’m sorry.
I have to run. Phinny has an NA meeting this evening and he lost his fucking license… Fucking sharks. Piss. Me. Off.
Fondly,
Dr. Gab Esquire (Certified Dog Walker)
UNDERGROUND COMEDY 101
Posted on June 22, 2009
Filed Under Local Bloggers, Pittsburgh, comedy | 8 Comments
NEWS FLASH:
I didn’t come up with the term.
NEWS FLASH:
I didn’t start referring to myself as being “underground”.
NEWS FLASH:
Back in the day, they used to have this comedy festival in NYC called The New York City Underground Comedy Festival and umm, this one time, in 2005, I was in it. Then, I came back to Pittsburgh and people (hosts and whatnot) starting referring to me as being “an underground comedian”.
NEWS FLASH:
When you write shit about me on your “blog” it ALWAYS comes back to me.
NEWS FLASH:
Everyone who performs comedy in Pittsburgh talks shit on everyone else who performs comedy in Pittsburgh. Everyone knows it. You can pretend that you are “friends” with the others, but truly, you aren’t.
NEWS FLASH:
You have a speech impediment and you are not funny and the ONLY reason that you get paid work is because people PITY you.
NEWS FLASH:
I’m not posting your name because I know that when you read your own name your (according to you) giant penis gets hard and you don’t deserve that kind of treat today.
NEWS FLASH:
Forget that I exist. Don’t talk about me. Don’t go to my myspace page. Don’t read my blog. Don’t fucking come near me.
NEWS FLASH:
Good luck in your “above ground room” where comics who can’t get stage time ANYWHERE else come to yell at the crowd. You are doing so much to help “the scene”. You are a “hero”. BTW, does your fiance know that you fuck the booker of a prominent comedy club? Just wondering…
Thank you for your time,
Dr. Gab Bonesso Esquire (Certified Dog Walker)
GET A SENSE OF HUMOR, PITTSBURGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted on June 11, 2009
Filed Under Pittsburgh, UPCOMING SHOWS, comedy | Leave a Comment
Okay, so my next BIG, BIG, BIG show is on June 20th at 7PM at AVA Lounge and Bar (same building as The Shadow Lounge). And boy, oh boy, am I getting shit for it.
The show is called “Some Dads are Dead: A (dark) comedy show for Father’s Day.
I forgot how fucking sensitive everyone in the city is. Okay, ALMOST everyone in this city. People, chill out. I am not pissing on the Pope. I am making jokes to deal with the fact that my dad is dead. It’s cathartic. It shall prove to be a very interesting night of comedy, if nothing else. Phineas and I will open the show by doing the art of “lip synchronization” to the classic Eminem tune “My Dad’s Gone Crazy”.
Tickets are $5.
UPCOMING SHOWS IN JUNE!!!!!!
Posted on June 8, 2009
Filed Under UPCOMING SHOWS | Leave a Comment
MONDAY * JUNE 8TH * 6:30 PM — THE HARD ROCK CAFE (PFLAG BENEFIT SHOW) - $25
TUESDAY * JUNE 9TH * 9PM — THE BRILLOBOX (ALTERNATIVE COMEDY SHOWCASE) - FREE
SATURDAY * JUNE 13TH * 8PM — THE REX THEATER (STUDIO 27) — $10.00
SATURDAY * JUNE 20TH * 7PM — THE AVA LOUNGE (FATHER’S DAY COMEDY SHOW) — $5
SATURDAY * JUNE 20TH * 10:30PM — THE CABARET THEATER (PGH PUNDIT’S SERIES) — $5
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