i would like to thank the academy…
The following is a true transcript of a conversation that I had with my neighbor Kenneth regarding my win of the City Paper Readers’ Poll for Best Comedian of 2009:
Kenneth
Hey Doosk! How’s life treatin’ ya?
the Gab
Not bad. Not bad. Just trying to survive the holidays. How about you?
Kenneth
Eh. I’m still smoking. How’s comedy going? Anything new and exciting?
the Gab
Well, actually, yeah. Have you ever heard of the City Paper?
Kenneth
The City Paper?!!! The only people who read the City Paper are FRUITS and NUTS!!!!
the Gab
That’s about right…
Kenneth
Why do you ask?
the Gab
Oh, no reason. It’s just that a bunch of fruits and nuts voted and well, they think I’m funny.
Kenneth
Well, they should! You were raised by a bunch of fruits and nuts!
the Gab
Huh?
Kenneth
I gotta go, Doosk. I have shit on the shingle burning on the stove! Merry Christmas!
the Gab
Merry Chr…(inaudible mumbling followed by outrage followed by tears followed by laughter followed by my mother screaming, “GAB! GAB! Can you come inside and empty the dishwasher?” followed by me hanging myself with Christmas lights.)
End Scene
Seriously though, thanks to all of you who voted for me. It really means a lot. I would also like to thank my Mom for her unwavering support. My sibs: “The Blognesso’s “(Big Brother Bob, Peppy, Nin, Sister Husband and my twin Michael) and my comedy partner/partner partner: Johnny Mac who supports my art unconditionally even when my ideas are beyond strange. I would also like to thank my sidekick and best friend: Phineas. Phin – You have taken my act into another World and I am grateful to have you as a muse! I would also like to thank Mr. Pontiere for teaching me how to play the trumpet. Finally, I would like to thank the venues that have encouraged me and supported my art over the past few years especially THE BRILLOBOX, Club Cafe and The Cabaret Theater.
Thanks again,
Gab
I once had a conversation w/Neighbor Kenneth that I then repeated to the head of my organization who then used it in several of her speeches.
Point is?
This conversation may be used again.
And you’re welcome. I’m proud to have been a participant in bits like, “foreign retards”, “Coma patient awakens post-9/11″ and “Ghost Car”. And of course, my discovery of Phinneas.
Congrats again Sissy!
I am so proud of you girl! I love ya and miss ya!
John wrote a great blog about comedy and this award:
http://www.macyapper.blogspot.com/
Thanks again, EVERYONE!
Way to go Gabby—you’re Original , Dynamic
and Pittsburgh’s favorite.
Have a great Holiday season.
I’m currently in Texas for until May.
Noll
You are amazing and easily deserve this. Congrats, Gab!
Way to go, sister! I love that they gave you a small plaque even though you are not a restaurant or a bowling alley. Should really jazz up the old bathroom.
Gosh, there are so many people to thank. The Asian garment workers and their Hebrew overlords, Bell’s palsy and all of the palsies, really, birds of the mid-Atlantic region, Stanley Tucci just because, Mr. Hooper, Bob, Grover and Maria, my agent, Stevie Black, Norelco for my endorsement deal, Chad Lowe because somebody has to, and, of course, G. Gab “Gab” Bonesso for wearing me on stage. God bless us everyone.